you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
