This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
