We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
