official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
