I puked a lego.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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