reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
