Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
