He is an equal opportunity slut.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
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