What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
