We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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