i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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