ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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