I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
