You really coming over, don't trick.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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