so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
