I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
