worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
bring money and cleavage
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
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