He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
