then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
