literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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