Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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