I want to walk on stilts...naked
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
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