So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
