there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
