omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
