my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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