Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Randomize
