Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
