idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
