The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
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