i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
I just saw a hot homeless man
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
