Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
