Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
