Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
