he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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