I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
