I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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