Do you still have your period?
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
