She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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