I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Randomize
