Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
