Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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