no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
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