She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
