I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
