i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
