the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
