If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
No subtext here. People are naked.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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