so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
