New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Randomize
