So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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