her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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