I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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