we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
